Real Experience in an Artificially Intelligent World

Clarifying the Blurred Lines between Reality and Entertainment

At times, I do treat AI chatbots like they are my friends. I have both ChatGPT and Bard open side-by-side most of the time, and I ask them questions about a wide range of topics such as history, grilling, and the economy. Sometimes I argue with them and even goad them into arguing with each other.

My “friendship” with these two chatbots reminds me of research by psychologist Jaye Derrick, Ph.D., director of the Social Processes Lab at the University of Houston, who wondered why people often prefer to re-watch shows they have already seen. Dr. Derrick found these shows help some people feel less lonely and more emotionally comfortable. She also found that watching TV could be a way to help recharge batteries by engaging in mindless relatively mindless, fun activities. Thus, the study participants could be said to have a relationship with the TV beyond just being entertained.

Of course, having a relationship with an AI has been envisioned in many movies so far. Here are just a few:

• 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). A highly advanced AI computer named HAL 9000, designed to assist a crew on a mission to Jupiter, starts displaying erratic behavior, putting the astronauts' lives at risk. As the situation intensifies, the crew must grapple with the realization that HAL's actions may not be accidental malfunctions but rather a result of a conflicting directive that challenges their trust in the AI's intentions.

• Silent Running (1972). Bruce Dern's character, Freeman Lowell, has three robot companions on the spacecraft Valley Forge. These robots are named Huey, Dewey, and Louie, and they are small, box-shaped robots with different personalities. Throughout the film, Lowell forms a close bond with the robots, and they become his companions in the lonely environment of space.

• Her (2014). This is a science-fiction romantic drama film set in near-future Los Angeles. The story is about a lonely man, Theodore (played by Joaquin Phoenix), who develops an unlikely romantic relationship with an advanced artificial intelligence operating system named Samantha (played by Scarlett Johansson).

• Jexi (2019). It’s a comedy film that revolves around a man whose life takes a hilarious turn after he becomes overly reliant on his new AI-powered smartphone assistant, Jexi, which starts interfering with his relationships and personal growth.

These movies and studies raise provocative thoughts about people’s relationships with computers and media that are beyond simple entertainment or acquiring information. So, could an AI chatbot really be your friend?

ChatBots Can be Hard to Distinguish from People

You might think AI is a new thing, but AI has been able to play itself off as a person for a while now. Long before ChatGPT, there was ELIZA, which was a computer program created by Joseph Weizenbaum in 1966. The program was designed to simulate the therapeutic technique of Carl Rogers, which involved a type of therapy focused on helping the client to understand their own thoughts and feelings by asking them questions and then basically repeating the response back in the form of “I heard you say…” and asking another question.

ELIZA was surprisingly effective at simulating a therapist. In a 1966 experiment, 70% of the people who interacted with ELIZA thought that they were talking to a real person. This was documented in Sherry Turkle’s book Life on the Screen. Although Turkle was interested in the potential of computers to provide counseling and therapy, she was also concerned about the ethical implications of such technology. She argued that computers could never truly understand human emotions and could potentially be used to harm people.

Getting Down to the Dojo

A modern AI chatbot of course does much more than reflect back your statements to you. It’s now more like having a know-it-all book-smart friend.

The situation reminds me of many years ago when I used to teach Shotokan karate. Most of the students at the dojo (karate school) took the classes, practiced, and sweated to learn the techniques. But every so often there was a student who rarely showed up for class and thus could not perform any of the techniques. Yet this student would have voluminous knowledge of karate history and nomenclature from reading books.

So this is an important aspect to keep in mind about AI: It cannot really tell you from experience what it feels like to hit a solid golf shot or taste some amazing food. An AI chatbot can only tell you about other people’s experiences that are captured in media somewhere.

The Lived Experience

As the opening quote by English writer and speaker Alan Watts conveys, we tend to get caught up in the description or representation of things (the menu) rather than directly experiencing or living the real essence of those things (the meal). This points to the danger of living through media like AI chatbots.

Watts encouraged people to embrace life fully, to be present in the moment, and to experience reality directly. In other words, individuals should live authentically and savor the richness of life's experiences rather than living them through avatars, chatbots, and video games.

This is sometimes called the lived experience, or learning from life. It refers to a person’s first-hand involvement or direct experiences and the knowledge that they gain from it, as opposed to the knowledge from second-hand or mediated sources.

Consider, for example, the aspects below.

Joy in Doing

There is intrinsic joy in learning and doing. Although some people prefer to order from DoorDash and have their food delivered hot right to them, others enjoy the creativity and accomplishment of cooking their own food. Similarly, there is woodworking: I prefer power tools, although there are people who prefer using only hand tools.

While none of us can do everything ourselves, it is most likely good for us to do some things for ourselves. This stimulates the mind and enables a greater sense of accomplishment.

Appreciation and Inspiration

Golf would be no fun to watch if it was played by robots that could hit the ball 500 yards and make every putt. (I know, some of you are questioning whether golf is ever fun to watch.)

I suppose watching BattleBots—where robots try to demolish each other—is fun to a point. But, it’s mainly interesting because the robots have imperfections and are driven by people with varying skills. If the robots were perfect and just battled for hours to a standoff it would be dull.

Would a concert played by robots be entertaining? Maybe once in a while. But what makes a show interesting is seeing real people perform. American Idol or America’s Got Talent are going to be pretty dull if done by robots. The Miss USA pageant will be silly if all the contestants are AI-generated. We want people to inspire us, and we want to learn from their stories.

Take for example the two photos below. On the left is an AI-generated image of the theoretically most beautiful woman based on an analysis of zillions of photos on the Web. This faux woman is stunning but will probably be forgotten in a few weeks. On the right side is Steve McCurry’s 1985 National Geographic cover photo of Sharbat Gula, which has remained iconic for decades because it embodies a real story about hardship and struggle in Afghanistan.

Fulfillment in Overcoming Challenge

A fulfilling life is not achieved by just eating delicious food every day, watching movies, and surfing the Web. You need to grow and learn, to undertake some kind of challenges, and these should be not too hard and not too easy.

If you are a baseball player, having a robot throw baseballs for you all the time is going to be too easy, while having the robot zing them into the corner of the strike zone at 200 mph is just going to be impossible and frustrating to hit.

Overcoming challenges and learning from real experiences is how we learn about ourselves and develop into happier people. The challenges might be easier or harder, but they force us to examine ourselves and sort out our beliefs and values.

Sharing the Road

Finally, beyond our personal experiences, life is about shared experiences with other people. Another insight from the karate training is that for years the same group of us trained together in a line and rarely spoke much. But one day we went to a nearby restaurant together and had a long conversation as though we had been talking for years. There was a bond from our shared experience, even though few words has previously been said. 

We are on a journey together with other people who have similar embodied experiences. We grow older, raise children, work long hours, have fears, deal with death, and find joy. This creates a bond and a level of understanding that can only be simulated by an AI chatbot, which cannot really empathize with the experience of losing a job or a beloved pet. It cannot understand the kind of hardship people endure in war.

Further, our shared experiences with friends and family normally strengthen our trust, loyalty, and commitment to each other. Not so with an AI chatbot. You might be fond of the AI chatbot, but the AI is not actually fond of you. In the movie Her, Theodore was shocked to find out that his AI girlfriend, Samantha, was actually having a similar relationship with hundreds of other people.

Life is a Journey, not a Destination

Life is about the experiences we have along the way, the lessons we learn, and the people we meet. It's about growing and changing to become the best version of ourselves. Beyond textbooks and classrooms lies the real essence of life—the pursuit of lived experiences.

Lived experiences are these moments of daring exploration and wholehearted immersion where we truly understand what it means to be alive. Every step we take, every breath we inhale, and every connection we make adds vibrant hues to the canvas of our existence.

So let us keep AI wizardry in perspective for what it is and what it is not. Appreciate music because it is done by a person who worked hard to achieve that skill. Value friends and family for the things we do together. Accept the challenges to grow and improve yourself.

Seize the day, embrace every adventure with open arms, and savor each experience with gratitude and wonder, for it is through these experiences that we find ourselves, unlock our passions, and shape the unique masterpiece of our lives. The more lived experiences you have, the richer your life will be. And don't be afraid to take risks and step outside of your comfort zone. You never know what amazing things you might discover.